SwOrdmaster better version
by swordmasterjarred
Summary: This is the better version! Last seen on my Old S/N


Timemaster3/Swordmaster  
  
Written by Jake Dern  
  
Co-written by swordmasterjarred  
  
Legal:(Not important yet!)  
That sound you're hearing is the fourth wall falling down on me.CRACK!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------- OUCH!  
  
Chap.1 Swordlike  
  
Jake relaxed in his computer chair. He fell over when the phone rang. "Dammit! I hate that answering machine. It never works!!" He picked up. "Hello? ......City Morgue?" "Shut it dumbass. It's Jarred." "What's up?" "I just found out something tight and weird at the same time. Come over here." Jake grabbed his sword in mini mode, and headed for the door.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- As he sped down the block on his metallic hover board he avoided small animals. BAM! "Damn, SORRY! I'll leave nuts! *damn squirrel*" He arrived at Jared's house and knocked on the door. Jared poked his head out, and whispered"Were you followed?" Jake looked at him quizzically and asked "Do dogs count?" "Nevermind. Come in quickly." As Jake stepped in he said"You smokin' crack man? They tell you in school not to do that..." "Shut it. I've got more important things on my mind than kiddie crack." "Oh? I should think puberty would be more important later...." "What part of shut it don't you understand? Shut? Damn you're stupid." Jake smirked. "I'm not the one who popped his head out and asked you if you were followed." Jared glared at Jake. "I really didn't like your jokes Jake." "Oh! My ego! A splinter!" SOCK! "Ow! Damn you Jarred! I was just kidding.." "That's what you get for smarting off to the sword master.." "What the crap?! You ARE smoking something!" "No, i found out my great x11 granddaddy was a bi-" "t off his rocker!" interrupted Jake."tch with swords." continued Jared. "Oh? And I'm a Jerry Springer with martini's." "SHUT UP! I mean it! He left some junk in our family's attic. Including this." He said brandishing a big ass sword. "Whoa! All I get from my relatives is money,clothes,and the occasional reunion." Jared snickered. "He he he. You can't joke about this dumbass." Jake raised an eyebrow and and pulled out his sword. "Oh really?" He activated his timemaster powers. The sword grew into its full shape and Jake was wearing the ebony black robes. "Ha, you think you can pop out a blade and start some Jedi cult and scare me?" "Oh, I forgot! I have something that looks more impressive..." He flashed and was now wearing a lighter black colored suit of armor. "Oh no. I'm gonna be attacked by King Arthur!" mused Jarred. "You laugh now, but when that sword is cut in half and you're missing a toe don't come crying to me!" Jake knocked the sword out of Jared's hands and said" Now what mister heehee?" "I think it's time I showed you my kick ass powers." He fired up with neon blue flames and grasped the sword. "Now I'm gonna make you pay for those bad jokes." Jarred pulled the sword into 2 blades. "Shoot! And I was hoping for cookies. Instead all I got was a battle. Poor me." Blades clashed and sparks flew as Jake, Jared and 3 swords duked it out. "I am the sword master!" "I am shnookie! Bow before me, for I am almighty!" Jared growled and slashed even harder. "Now now now, you should control your temper." Jake fired up completely and knocked Jarred into his couch. "I'm gonna wait til' you chill. You busted your damn sword. It's in 2 parts already. I really do believe it belonged to your great whatever grandfather." Jarred jumped up. "You buttmunch. It's supposed to do that!" "Oh. Ah well. You said some crap about sword master. What were you spewing?" "I meant that I'm REALLY a descendant of the swordmaster." "And I'm the Timemaster." "Ah, shut it!" Jared reached over and picked up a green breastplate. It wouldn't have been special, except, it was very new, and was giving off a strong, definite glow. "Wow. I need a black light to do something close to that..." Jared popped on his breastplate and activated his powers yet again. Full armor engulfed him. "Now I'm a wienie. You bastard. you make my powers look wimpy." said Jake to Jarred.  
  
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Chap.2 Buttcrunch(damn word processor. Damn all of you at Microsoft!)  
  
Chap.2 Buttmunch  
  
Jake was listening to Jarred explain what he had found out about his ascendant. "He defended his village against all sorts of magical junk and crap. He was the hero of the surrounding area. The king would've made him a knight, but my ancestor was too busy kicking ass." "Nice." said Jake as he thought about Anthony and his descendancy powers. "Hey, do you know his name?" "Sir Eric? No, that was the guy who beat him in a drinking contest. Eric laughed as he watched my great grandfather pass out from too much alcohol. My great x11 grandfather was named Sir-" "Buttmunch?" Pow!"Ow, damn." "Sir Kain. He was pretty badass. Except for that drinking contest I mentioned." "Why did he do that anyway?" "Because he was tired of Sir Eric's ranting on how he was freaking Game master." "Oh." "So now you're swordmaster?" "Yeah, so no more jokes buttmunch." "Well, I don't know what to say to that." "Say you'll grovel." "I hate gravel. It really hurts my feet." "GROVEL! Dumb as hell, man." Jake backed to the door, only to have it burst open on him. While Jake was under the door, Rift hunters poored in and seized Jared. "You're under arrest for traveling into other dimensions and stealing powers." "What the hell? I didn't do anything!" "We've been trying to track down your family since this cult was founded." No one heard the muffled protest under the door. The rift hunters grouped up and evacuated, driving away in a cloud of dust.  
  
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Jake took a few moments to shift around, making sure he hadn't broken anything, then moved the door off himself. "Damn.....I really don't like that faction." He got up and surveyed the damage. "Good thing that they didn't find me. Unfortunately they didn't find it deserted. He pulled out both his sword and his board and opened up a time portal.  
  
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He looked at the various speeding windows in time and headed into the one of Jared being dragged to the van marked FBI RHD. "Shoot. Oh! Now I can find where those bastards live and kick ass for Jeff and Holly!Oh, and um, save Jared too, I guess." Jake followed the bastards from a forest, keeping far enough away so they couldn't see the glint of his board.  
  
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Jared was seriously pissed about being captured. "Let me go you assholes!" "Shut up!" Jared once agin struggled against the hand cuffs. "Damn you." "Shut it now! Or we might disobey orders and kill you!" Jarred wasn't pissed enough or he would've given the final push.  
  
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Jake followed the winding van to a secluded rock wall. "I'd say you're trapped, but I've seen too much Scooby Doo for that." The rock wall flipped up. "Bingo." He then popped into a time portal and popped out of one right behind the van once it was inside the rock wall. His black robes kept him from being spotted, for all the lights were out. A loud grinding hissing noise of machinery proceeded before the section of concrete started to go down like an elevator, complete with elevator muzak. "Heh. Figures." Jake crouched yet lower as it came to a halt and bright lights came on. Jake melded with the wall, black again. The van continued on through 3 checkpoints. Jake opened another time portal and found a window that was after it. Slipping in and keeping still, the van finally came to a stop at a door. AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY read the black lettering. "Sweet." muttered Jake. "What was that?" "What?" "The prisoner is mumbling, let's move." Jake Slipped in behind a Rift Hunter who obviously wasn't paying attention, Jake entered Rift HQ. He could see more technology than he could have ever dreamed of. Keeping tiptoe, he slid to the first office he could find, NAGAM He popped open the door and drew his sword. "Kiss my ass! Nagam bastard!"  
  
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Chap.3 All Hell has broken tooth (I hate this computer!)  
  
Chap.3 All Hell has Broken Loose  
  
Jarred was glaring at his captors and waiting for the right time to power up, when alarms went off. ~INTRUDER ALERT~ ~INTRUDER ALERT~. While the sirens blared he flared and kicked ass before they could snap back to the task at hand. POW! BAM! SOCK!! "Bastards."  
  
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Nagam was shocked. There stood a 14 yr. old with a very large sword and a grin on his face. "So Nagam. You though you could piss of Holly and Jeff and just go underground? You are sucha dumb ass. Now I'm not gonna spare your ass!" Just then a Rift Hunter burst through the door and pinned Jake against the wall. "OW...WEE!" said Jake as the flurried buttmunch frantically blurted out. "The prisoner escaped! There are Rift hunters lying in the halls! He's seriously pissed and he's coming for you!" "And I'm gonna kick your very sorry ass once you release the damn door!" yelled Jake at the frantic. "Don't open that door! That's an order!" yelled Nagam. "Damn you." said Jake.  
  
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Jarred made his way down the halls knocking rift hunters left and right. "This is too easy." Chacking! "Freeze!" Jared spun around and came face to face with the barrel of a pistol. "Nice meeting you too!" "Shut it slime ball!" Jared gritted his teeth and did a flying kick to the Rift Hunter's head. "Bite me." He picked up the pistol and any ammo he could get. "You are all gonna pay."  
  
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His nose squished against a wall and his sword on the ground, Jake was unpleasant. "You son of a bitch! I slept with your mother. Ow, crap. And your father!" He said taking a line from the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  
  
"Ha. Say what you will. I have you stuck under that door." "Damn you double time." "Hahahahaha! You are much funnier when your blade isn't gonna slice me!" BAM! BAM BAM! The hunter fell dead as Jarred stepped through the door. "I think this isn't nearly as fun as the skate park." "Aw, CRAP! I really hate you now Nagam! Squishing my nose...you are gonna pay!" He pulled up his sword, concentrated time energy into it, and ran for Nagam. "Die Bastard! He drove his word in all the way to the hilt. The added time energy aged his wounds so that they really stung. "Awwwwwwww..." Nagam collapsed on his desk. "Now for the best part." He held his sword over Nagam, revived him by reversing the wound, and killed him all over again!Son of a bitch, Dumbass, Wienie, Bastard!" He yelled with every death. "You are gonna spend more than eternity in hell." He cried as he struck down Nagam for the final time. "That's scary dude!" said Jared as Nagam's body slumped over the edge of his desk and fell to the floor. "He really, REALLY, deserved it.  
  
Epilouge  
  
Jake and Jarred told each other about what happened to them. Jake told Jarred about Arcadia, while Jarred described his great, great, great, great,great,great,great,great,great, great,great, grandfather's journal. "So he just told Sir Eric he had his vote for drinking game master? That's hilarious!" Jake and Jared laughed as the night slipped away. Then they ordered pizza. "Get outta here before I drive this sword through your 'I wanna tip'ing heart!" yelled Jake at the ungrateful pizza boy.  
  
END  
  
Comments? Offers? Money?  
  
Jake: cheatmaster_@hotmail.com  
  
Bolt: sonic1195@hotmail.com Fffandes sonic rules man sega 


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